Man Of The Hour

i've experienced it - what, five times already? - but the choking pain still as killing as the first time. "don't ever care too much" - that's the key. but how can you not to? that's the core for something like that to build up. the carelessness maybe, or the over protective, or maybe just the bored habit kicked in? or maybe... maybe,because of someone else? i just hope all of this to finish up quickly so the pretending will end, quick-sharply, like slitting my throat with a sharp blade...