It's still not too late to wish, right?


New Year resolution?






Peace!

i've experienced it - what, five times already? - but the choking pain still as killing as the first time. "don't ever care too much" - that's the key. but how can you not to? that's the core for something like that to build up. the carelessness maybe, or the over protective, or maybe just the bored habit kicked in? or maybe... maybe,because of someone else? i just hope all of this to finish up quickly so the pretending will end, quick-sharply, like slitting my throat with a sharp blade...

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd...

~ Alexander Pope ~

Happy b'day 2 me... and the Bond Girl

Feels like you're miles from here, in other towns with lesser names, where the unholy ghost doesn't tell Mary or William exactly what they want to hear. You remember the house on Ridge Road? Told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone. If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling. You'll just have to trust me... I'm scared.

I am the patron saint of lost causes.Aren't we all to you just near lost causes? Aren't we all to you just lost...

Tommy, you left behind something that will mean everything right before you die. What if you gained the whole world? You've already lost four little souls from your life. Widows and orphans aren't hard to find. They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight. Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you. Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.

That you are the patron saint of lost causes. All you are to them is now a lost cause. All you are to them is now, causes.

Billy, don't you understand? Timothy stood as long as he could and now you made his faith disappear more like a magician and less like a man of the cloth. We're not questioning God. Just those he chose to carry on His cross. We're no better, you'll see. Just all of us, the lost causes...

Aren't we all to you just lost causes? Are we all to you lost? Lost causes... So all we are to you, is all we are, is all we are, all we are is all we are...

Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?

Take what you will, what you will and leave. Could you kill, could you kill me if the world was on fire and nothing was left but hope or desire and take all that I could bring forth, is this hell or am I on the floor over-desperate? Hold hands streaming of blood again? And then take full weight of me. Guard my dreams, figure this out, it's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell. Will you stay strong as you promised? Cause I'm stranded and bare. Meanness is washed up in all that I am with is God. Take this and all, then grace takes me to a place of the Father you never had, ripping and breaking and tearing apart. This is not heaven, this is my hell...

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it..."

- Mr. G -

Bless this little heart, this white soul
that has won the kiss of heaven for our earth.

She loves the light of the sun,
She loves the sight of her mother's face.

She has not learned to despise the dust,
and to hanker after gold.

Clasp her to your heart and bless her.
She has come into this land of hundred crossroads.

I know not how she chose you from the crowd,
came to your door, and grasped your hand
to ask her way.

She will follow you, laughing and talking,
and not a doubt in her heart.
Keep her trust, lead her straight and bless her.

Lay your hand on her head, and pray
that though the waves underneath grow threatening,
yet the breath from above may come and
fill her sails and waft her to the heaven of peace.

Forget her not in your hurry,
let her come to your heart and bless her...

She say it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat. She's always worried about things like that. She says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault.And she only sleeps when it's raining and she screams and her voice is straining...

She says, "Baby, it's 3 am, I must be lonely". When she says "baby", well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes. She says the rain's gonna wash away, I believe it...

She's got a little bit of something, God, it's better than nothing. And in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all. She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to. And she only sleeps when it's raining and she screams and her voice is straining...

She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to. And the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days. She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway... But outside it's stopped raining.


For how long can I hide the fact that her condition will always wrap me in a very worried state? Haven't got the strength to ask her about her illness. And, will I keep that promise not to attend her funeral?

" If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' "


Against the great hurdles in life - your strength is measured not by how many times you did not fall, but by your ability to gather all up, stand up and keep on going. Seems like I'm starting to forget all that...

Must you love to enjoy all the greatness in life? If I have another choice...

(@Dreki) I just realized something.
(@Dreki) A is the 1st letter of the alphabet and H is the 8th letter, right?
(@Dreki) 9/11=0.8181818181=HAHAHAHA.

( Extra comments removed because the writer thinks that he is currently under a heavy influence of caffeine. Thank you. )

Aku dah start suka post-apocalyptic movie. Dari crita 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Reign Of Fire, The Day After Tomorrow (ni aku susun ikut suka hati), dan skarang crita Will Smith ni, yg aku layan kat pawagam semalam. Kesimpulannya, crita ni best.

Cerita start dari bagaimana punca umat manusia 'pupus' dari muka bumi iaitu dari virus yg diberi nama KV (Krippin Virus) yg di 'alter' dari virus demam campak (kalau tak silap aku) untuk membunuh sel2 kanser (kanker kata org indonesia) tapi akhirnya meng'evolve'kan dirinya menjadi satu virus pembunuh yg boleh merebak melalui udara, ataupun direct contact dgn 'darkseeker'.Ok, darkseeker tu pulak adalah spesies yg dulunya manusia yg tak mati lepas terjangkit dgn virus tu. Dorg ni sebaliknya jadi vampire+zombie yg takleh kena matahari, agresif dan suka sgt gigit org (aku dah target masa awal2 movie ni ada makhluk mcm ni lepas tgk si robert neville/will smith makin gabra bila matahari dah nak terbenam, cuma tak dpt target rupa makhluk tu). Walaupun plot aku dapat agak tapi aku masih suka movie ni. Lagi satu, aku rasa Will Smith bawa watak dia dgn best sekali (serius+lucu+sedih dia blh campur).

Sudah pasti, aku akan tengok lagi skali crita ni...

Rating : ****/*****

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

- G.K. Chesterton -

Mr. Gaiman's American Gods was undoubtedly (and as expected), truly delicious! Yeah, why else would it get the 2002 Hugo, Nebula and Bram Stoker awards, all for Best Novel. I've read somewhere in the net, that his 1st expression when he won the Hugo was "F**k, I won a Hugo!".Funny man. Still, his other masterpiece (Neverwhere) is waiting for me at home. Wonder how long I'm gonna finish reading it this time.



Okay, so, I'm gonna review a bit about that 700++ page book. It's about this fella, Shadow, (who turned out to be the Norse God Baldur, Odin's 2nd son) trying to gather back his wrecked (and pretty f**ked up beyond repair) life after serving in prison.Only to find that his wife was dead in a car accident while giving a bl**job (man, I hate to censor words!) to his friend. Thinking he got nothing more to lose, he accepted a job offer (as a bodyguard?) to a man with a glass eye, Mr. Wednesday (who turned out to be his father, Odin, himself). Numbed after tragedies that befell upon him, Shadow followed Mr. Wednesday around America, gathering an army consisted of old Gods to fight against the new Gods (media, internet, etc) which, from the Norse myth is called The Ragnarok (there's two dots above the 'O'). This book is full with old Gods from Egypt's Anubis, Bast, Horus to India's Kali, Shiva to Anansi, Baron Samedi, to the Zoryas, and others that you should find out for yourself.

A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really...”Do the stars gaze back?" Now *that's* a question.

By far, to me, this is quite a very nice novel adaptation film. A few scenes even came up as I've imagined when I read the book (i.e. The "Fake/Trap" Inn, Captain Shakespeare's Flying Vessel and Ditchwater Sal's caravan). If only they made Izabella Miko as Yvaine instead of Claire Danes, I think she'd glow brighter (really like her 'Yvaine'ish look in The Killer's Mr. Brightside MV)

Think I'll gonna read the book again..

You're a falling star,
You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me
you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend,
that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life,
and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word,
you're everything.

You're a carousel,
you're a wishing well,
And you light me up,
when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery,
you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe,
uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life,
and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word,
you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life,
and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word,
you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La


The lyrics kinda cheesy but I like this song. Soothing feeling. A perfect kickstart for a moody monday morning.

Nothing much in life but a couple of hang outs and animes. Btw, it's big bro's birthday next week (falls on Halloween- oct 31st). Guess I'll just wish him a Happy Birthday. No presents.. huhu.

Seth: Why do people cry?
Maggie: What do you mean?
Seth: I mean... what happens physically?
Maggie: Well... umm... tear ducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye and when you have an emotion they overreact and create tears.
Seth: Why? Why do they overreact?
Maggie: [pause] I don't know.
Seth: Maybe... maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can't contain it. Your mind and your feelings become too powerful... and your body weeps.


I can't really remember when was the last time I cried. I guess I'm evolving into an emotionless, retard robot. Still remember the feeling, though. It's kinda nice, like a loose feeling and lightness, kinda like the freshness after a shower, an achievement of something very important and nothing or no one else could take it away from you. Ah, nice...

Should try it sometimes... but, hey, Big Boys Don't Cry...

"The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet, neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital, busy occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to install artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidney to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain, take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, some day, a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her windows.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil.

Give my soul to God.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will live forever."

- Robert N. Test -

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me.

See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
But remember when a dream appears
You belong to me.

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too---and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
Watch the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

The rain made me do it! Honest! When you're in my place right now, I'm sure you'll gonna sink too into some oldies when it's raining in the morning. That's Jo Stafford, by the way. This song was covered by more than 70 artists, the original version of the song was recorded by Sue Thompson in 1952. Still, besides this, I like the Jason Wade version of Shrek's OST.

happy 50th merdeka day to all Malaysians!

walaupun sambutan ambang merdeka 'diharuskan' utk postpone ke 8hb sept nanti, org ramai tetap keluar gak beramai-ramai penuhkan jalan raya sambil berpakaian ala-ala peserta Cosplay sambil menjerit at the struck of midnight. semalam was very boring. cruising-stop for a drink-cruising again-stop to watch people doing the 'donut' & few 'burnouts'-go home.

ingat nak bangun lewat sikit hari ni. bukan selalu blh dpt cuti. biological clock aku tak pernah miss utk bangunkan aku dalam jam 7 pagi. huhu...

so, anyways, Happy 50th Merdeka!

I've been wrestling with this damn presario 2100 since morning. the cd/dvd and the floppy drive's is just too stupid to even read another media anymore. even the freaking hard disk made the POST hang. so, this is what i've done :

1. changed the hard disc, of course (duh!)
2. hooked up an external floppy drive (usb).
3. partition the 60gb to 2, format & copy the xp setup/installation files to the hd through usb (external casing)
4. boot up using a win98 bootdisk, load the smartdrv ( smartdrv c+ ), cd to i386 and run 'winnt'
5. i've forgot to make the c: partition to 'active' so, i went to the fdisk and set it from there.
6. run the freaking setup.

did those step twice coz i've got a damn 'parse error'. waiting for it to finish setup while collecting some ogrish pix...

hope this'll work...

Amy said this:

" The words have been drained from this pencil. Sweet words that I want to give you. And I can't sleep, I need to tell you... Goodnight. When we're together, I feel perfect. When I'm pulled away from you, I fall apart. All you say is sacred to me.
Your eyes are so blue, I can't look away. As we lay in the stillness you whisper to me... 'Amy, marry me. Promise you'll stay with me.' Oh, you don't have to ask me. You know you're all that I live for, you know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you. Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky, I've always been right behind you, now I'll always be right beside you. So many nights I cried myself to sleep. Now that you love me, I love myself. I never thought I would say this: I never thought there'd be...
You. "

But it's just too sweet to be forgotten...